July 2010
31 posts
Comparing Country and R&B Song Titles...
SONGS ABOUT LOVE:
R&B: No One
COUNTRY: I changed her oil, she changed my life
SONGS ABOUT CHEATING:
R&B: Irreplaceable
COUNTRY: My wife ran off with my best friend and I sure do miss him
SONGS ABOUT BREAKING UP:
R&B: So Sick
COUNTRY: If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me
SONGS ABOUT SEX:
R&B: Birthday Sex
COUNTRY: I’ll marry you tomorrow but let’s...
2 tags
Finding Chuck Norris...
Believe it or not this is an actual search result. If you don’t believe me, type in “find chuck norris” in the google search box, then click the “I’m feeling lucky” button. The legend continues…
Strange ways to burn 100 Calories...
1. Stay stuck in traffic for one hour.
2. Jump up and down on the bed 1,336 times.
3. Crush 623 soda cans.
4. Change 52 diapers.
5. Sleep for 2 hours.
The Three Amigos...
Like father like son… and best friend :)
Good Girls vs Bad Girls...
Good girls will loosen a few buttons when it’s hot. Bad girls will try to make it hot by loosening a few buttons.
Good girls say, “Thanks for dinner.” Bad girls say, “What’s for breakfast?”
Good girls like Twilight. Bad girls like True Blood.
Good girls wonder why they missed their period. Bad girls wonder who made them miss their period.
Good girls go...
4 tags
Celebrity Math...
Jokes your Dad might like...
Q. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, somebody already told her twice.
Q. How many feminist does it take to change a light bulb?
A. That’s a trick question, feminists can’t change anything!
Q. How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Let the so called “feminist” iron your clothes in the dark.
Q. What do women and floor tiles...
Say Cheese...
That’s right… Sting is way better as a solo artist!
The Worst time to let out a Sneeze...
1. While playing a competitive game of Jenga (especially if it’s in the middle of your turn).
2. While you’re getting a piggy-back ride.
3. While you’re driving (and texting)!
4. While you’re going pee (for guys at least).
5. While playing a game of Hide and Seek.
When do you think is the worst time to let out a sneeze?
Text Messaging with my Asian Mom...
Mom: Where are you?
Me: At the gas station.
Mom: Can you get me some freebies?
Me: What?
Mom: The carpet is a stinky.
Me: Oh, you mean febreze?
Mom: Yes.
Me: Ok.
Mom: One more things. Do not put the 89 ok?
Me: Why do you always say that? I always put in the cheapest gas.
Mom: Better to be safe like Sally.
Me: HAHAHAHA! You mean it’s better to be safe than sorry?
Mom: I...
Question of the Day...
“Diana Die… Diana Die…” Those were the sobbing words of my mom back in the day when Princess Diana died. Sadly, I can relate to mom as I remember falling to my knees and crying after hearing that Aaliyah had died (to be honest, I barely knew any of her songs… I just really liked that movie she did with Jet Li).
QUESTION: When’s the last time you got heart...
2 tags
Targeting Your Audience...
W.O.W… how does Google always know?
The Most Overrated Things on Earth...
Snow Cones - I always find myself licking my arm more than the ice.
Brunch - Isn’t it just an early lunch? Or is it a late breakfast? Also, not to go off topic but… what the hell is a “square meal?”
Starbucks - The coffee always tastes burnt, the sandwiches are expensive, and those fans that go off every time you enter and exit are way to powerful (always messes up my...
Using Math to help you Date the Right Person...
How do I know if she’s too young to date?
Answer: Divide your age by 2, then add 7. If she’s younger than the total, she’s too young.
How do I know if he’s too young to date?
Answer: Subtract 1 from your age and see if your pride can handle that.
How do I know if she’s a slut?
Answer: Subtract 18 from her age. If she’s slept with more guys than the...
1 tag
You Know You're in College When...
1. You know several different ways to cook ramen or macaroni and cheese.
2. Your classroom always seems to double in size on exam days.
3. Your sense of smell is crucial in determining what’s ok to eat and wear.
4. You’ve eaten cereal in a cup (with a fork) at some point.
5. You’re reading this list wishing there was more because you don’t want to go back to...
Christmas on a Budget...
Ditto… minus the electric bill.
http://www.heyitsfree.net/ →
Dedicated to finding the best free stuff online! Check it out!
Classic Yahoo Answers...
Then I’ll Handel this till he gets Bach…
Question of the Day...
Normally when it comes to dating, deal breakers are detected more often than brownie points are given. Bad breath?? Umm… no. Jealous Freak?? See Ya! Hasn’t seen Godfather 1 or 2, but has seen Godfather 3?? No comment. Yes, nobody’s perfect… but in the end why settle for less… especially when you’re sober.
QUESTION: What’s a deal breaker for you when it...
Kids Drawings...
If you thought scissors were hard to spell, try drawing a pair.
10 tags
Celebrities Who Were Once Roommates...
Johah Hill and Justin Long - The two became roommates after meeting on the set of the never watched TV show Campus Ladies. Years later they reunited on the set of the film Accepted (coincidentally another project that nobody saw).
Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland - Before Iron Man, and Phone Booth 24, the two comeback kids lived together for 3 years in early 80’s.
Jeremy Piven...
Clever Business Cards...
Found these in some Pro Golfer’s wallet…
2 tags
Watching Hot Tub Time Machine with my Asian Mom...
Mom: This moobie is a berry dumb.
Me: I told you that you wouldn’t like it… you don’t have to watch it.
Mom: It’s ok… I like the John Cute Sack.
Me: Alright.
Mom: I enjoy watching Sharon did Diddy.
Me: (long long pause) Oh… Serendipity.
Mom: Much better than this moobie. I don’t want to watch anymore, ok.
Me: Ok.
(mom still sitting on the...
Daily Driving Pet Peeves...
1. Driving behind a guy who’s in no big hurry for anything, so he drives like ten miles per hour.
2. People who think that a Yield sign is just a friendly suggestion.
3. People who go before it’s their turn at a four-way stop.
4. Being the third car behind the driver in the left turn lane and the driver won’t scoot up into the intersection, leaving you with very little...
I'll Believe it when I See It...
Wow, I’ve never seen prices this low! Have you? Oh… right.
2 tags
Japan Loves Obama...
Police still looking for the Obama Burglars in Osaka!
Barrack and Roll anyone?
The Obama Samurai… out to slash the deficit!
5 tags
Part Asian Male Celebrities...
Keanu Reeves - 1/4 Hawaiian, 1/4 Chinese, and 1/2 Irish
Batista (WWE Wrestler) - Filipino and Greek
Chad Michael Murray - 1/4 Japanese and White
Rob Schneider - Filipino and White
Ne-Yo - 1/2 Black, 1/4 Puerto Rican, 1/4 Chinese
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Zack Morris) - Indonesian and Dutch
Jay Z - 1/2 Black, 1/2 Half Filipino (I think)
Celebrities who look part Asian, but are not:
Tyrese...
Question of the Day...
QUESTION: What’s the stupidest thing you and your ex ever broke up over?
BEST ANSWERS:
shhmexylexi said: One time I was texting my friend about how stupid, jealous, and annoying my boyfriend was being, but then I accidently sent that text to him. And then he got really mad like the baby he is and broke up with me. Awesome.
dusktodulcet answered: World of Warcraft
4 tags
Celebrity Math...
June 2010
34 posts
1 tag
Never Judge a Sandwich by its Cover...
No wonder it’s only 10 calories…
The Silly Things I Thought as a Kid...
1. I always thought I was having a heart attack when my chest would hurt from breathing after a day of swimming.
2. After seeing pictures of my grandparents I thought everything was black and white back in the day.
3. I thought the only way to sneak out of the house was by getting all your bed sheets tied together and climbing out the window.
4. I thought that if you swallowed gum it would...
Just for Women: Good Answers to Bad Pick Up...
Him: If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together. Hey, I’m Steve.
You: Well if I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put F and U together. Bye Steve.
Him: Hey someone farted, let’s get out of here.
You: No, it’s just your breath… Tic Tac?
Him: You are by far the hottest girl in here!
You: Really? Then I better go find the hottest guy in...
2 tags
Clever Advertisement...
Click it… just don’t lick it.
Question of the Day...
I was watching an episode of The Office the other day and Michael (the boss) was eating mayonnaise and olives because the office ran out of ice cream. That reminded me of a time back in the day when I put ketchup on my ice cream at McDonalds because I wanted to conveniently eat my fries with my ice cream.
QUESTION: What’s the strangest combination of foods you’ve ever eaten?
BEST...
Cheap Cup Holder...
Also comes in silver and clear…
Sometimes I feel like a Dumbass because...
1. I can’t tell the difference between affect and effect.
2. It takes me a few seconds to realize that “a quarter till” means 15 minutes till, not 25 minutes till.
3. For the life of me I can never get that dimple under the knot of my necktie.
4. I think that putting cucumbers in leftover pickle juice will make more pickles.
5. I’ve never used a semicolon in my...
2 tags
Serious Teamwork...
While mom takes the picture…
Things that Make Me Gag...
1. When my mom makes me eat watermelons that were sliced with the same knife used to cut the onions.
2. Every time I scrub my tongue too deep with my toothbrush.
3. Going in the bathroom right after someone has taken a dump and a hot shower.
4. When a girl says she’s on her “rag,” rather than saying she’s on her “period.”
5. When old people sneeze into a...
Question of the Day...
QUESTION: What would you tell this guy if he asked, “Hey, is there something on my neck?”
BEST ANSWERS:
rough-edges answered: “There appears to be a person on your cyst”
gr4cky answered: there is now, especially since i just threw up
Reasons Why Men Have it Good...
1. You can sit quietly next to your friend without thinking, “Is he mad at me?”
2. If another guy shows up at a party with the same outfit, you simply share a laugh, confirm that the shirts were from Target, and then go have a drink together.
3. You can write your name is snow.
4. You don’t have to deal with tough decisions like choosing between Team Edward or Team Jacob.
...
1 tag
Japanese Barcodes...
They couldn’t even leave a few straight lines alone…
4 tags
Celebrity Math...
Question of the Day...
QUESTION: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried over?
BEST ANSWERS:
moltenreeses answered: My dad wanting to take the family out to dinner. I burst out sobbing that we were spending too much money.
casper365 answered: During an episode of Kitchen Nightmares
iamnotar0b0t answered: When I had to turn my oboe in for the summer my seventh grade year, I cried. God, I was such a...
1 tag
McDonald's Slightly Different Menu Around the...
INDIA - The Maharaja Mac: It’s essentially a Big Mac made of lamb (the Hindu people don’t eat beef).
GERMANY - Big McFeast: Looks like your typical combo meal… minus the BEER! I’m guessing the re-fills aren’t free.
CANADA - McLobster: The love child of Wienerschnitzel and Subway’s seafood sensation sandwich.
GREECE - Greek Mac: Beef patties wrapped...
4 tags
Before They Were Rock Stars...
He totally did a Blink 180…
From football player to cheer leader…
Should of stayed at Hogwarts…
Is that Lincoln Park from my math class??
2 tags
Watching the World Cup with my Asian Mom...
Me: NO!
Mom: What happened? Al Gore?
Me: No, not our goal. Penalty.
Mom: Too bad. (pause) Go move antenna.
Me: (sigh) I told you already, it’s not the TV. The people in the stadium are blowing those stupid horns.
Mom: You mean the Venezuela?
Me: Vuvuzela, close enough.
Mom: You know, if the whore place blow too much you can spread a germs.
Me: (chuckle) Is that so…
(Mom...
3 tags
Question of the Day...
QUESTION: Who will win tonight’s Game 7 between the Lakers and the Celtics? Predict the score!
MY GUESS: Lakers 88 Celtics 83
The Rice Making Bra...
Finally, a bra that can make its own rice! What took so long??
The Japanese have done it again! Creating these recyclable bra pots that can be filled with soil and rice seedlings (the rice can be watered with the hose that doubles as a belt).
Weird? Yes… but you might as well grow something on a flat surface, right?